For the women
You are phenomenal
This week I’ve been thinking about the women I’m grateful for. Those still with us, and those who have passed. In particular, my maternal grandmother, Alice.
Her first husband survived Dunkerque, but soon after was killed in a training exercise on UK soil. She was just twenty at the time, with a baby son - my Mum’s older brother. She began to rebuild her life with courage, determination and grace. Always sewing [it was her livelihood and her therapy] and in time, remarrying.
She worked into her late eighties, teaching other women how to sew. Her class at the local college was always oversubscribed, with queues of women seeking her support as they crafted outfits for their grandchildren, and their own mother-of-the-bride dresses.
Once I watched her cut out an evening gown she’d been commissioned to make. The turquoise satin lay across her dining table like a millionaire’s tablecloth, the pattern paper crinkling under her hands as she smoothed it flat and pinned it in place. She followed its lines with her index finger, as if she were plotting a route on a map. Then she cut the expensive fabric. Swiftly and easily, like she was buttering a piece of toast or wiping down the kitchen worktop. As if there was nothing at stake.
The whole time she worked, the trace of a smile sat on her lips, her brow softer than when she wasn’t sewing, her breath slow and steady. I crawled under the table and filled a shoe box with the remnants not lucky enough to be part of the dress, and she promised to turn the scraps into a special hair scrunchie each for Katie, my sister, and I. The rest she’d save to decorate our dance costumes.
Today, as I remember the time I was lucky enough to spend with her, I feel nourished by the loving presence she was. Not just to her immediate family, but to everyone in her orbit.
I’m in the midst of feeling a little stuck in my work/career/creative life. For all the grand ideas that exist about what it means to live a fulfilling life - [What’s your legacy? I read somewhere on social media this week. What are you here for?] - when I think of who she was, and the gentle, consistent ways that she loved, I’m reminded of how everyday acts of kindness live on, in ways we may never know.
On morning practice/self-connection/letting go of expectation…
I’ve been resisting my usual morning practice in recent weeks, but lately I’ve managed to find my way back into it.
Rather than holding myself to some pre-determined standard of what it should look like [and when it should happen], I’ve simply showed up in a quiet space for 10 minutes each day. My chosen spot, the kitchen table, usually before the rest of the house wakes up, but not always.
I’ve lit a candle, and sat quietly for some moments, with a cup of tea, and allowed my thoughts to come and go. After a few minutes of this, what to do next has come to me…Sometimes I’ve stayed there, just sitting quietly. Other times I’ve written a little, danced or drawn a card.
I’ve been reminded of how gentle rhythm, for me, is essential [showing up is definitely the hardest part]. As well as not overthinking what any morning ritual/practice should look like. And the power of trusting we’ll know what we need, if we pause and ask ourselves the question.
Who/what else is inspiring/moving me…
Maya Angelou’s Phenomenal Woman, best enjoyed live and unplugged. This poem, her performance of it (and her utter delight in herself) is an instant pick-me-up. Enjoy :)
Model and activist Waris Dirie’s recent interview on BBC’s Hard Talk. Waris underwent Female Genital Mutilation when she was five years old, and is now a campaigner against the practice. According to World Health Organisation estimates, 8,000 girls become victims of this brutality every day. A shorter excerpt of the interview here.
This article, which I found interesting, about the theme for International Women’s day each year.
Celebrating a dear friend’s wedding on Friday, with new friends and old, including a few spins around the dancefloor :)
I’m wishing you and yours a belated International Women’s Day, and a peaceful week ahead.
With love
Claire
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Instagram: @clairemackinnonwrites
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A lovely read about your grandmother - love that you described as gentle and consistent love, and the everyday acts of kindness. A reminder for me about the small and consistent things to focus on.
Beautifully written about your Gran Claire. Also loved your shares this week, haven’t seen the Maya clip before.